All subordinate clauses should be scrutinized
to see whether they contribute to the thought. If not, they should be
cut.
And they have put frowns on the faces
of the poor, who have long benefited from the federal safety net.
CHANGE TO
And they have put frowns on the faces of
the poor.
The problem, which remarkably few writers are aware of, is that
of failing to set off a nonrestrictive clause by punctuation—whether
by commas, dashes, or parentheses.
CHANGE TO
The problem is that of failing to set off
a nonrestrictive clause by punctuation.
The same fate should befall the fat in a sentence.
The process of industrialization has served
to help raise the GNP of many of the world's countries.
CHANGE TO
Industrialization has boosted the GNP of
many countries.
