ClearTips: Powerful paragraphs

Repeat a sentence structure—for sentences doing the same work

If sentences are doing similar work, they're easier to understand if they're similar in structure. As with repeating a key word or term, repeating a structure can strengthen the links among your supporting sentences and between those sentences and your point.

Here are some supportive sentences that open differently:

History has a capricious memory, and it's anyone's guess how it will remember James C. Wright Jr. of Texas. It may remember him grandly, because he was the House Speaker who most aggressively muscled his way into foreign policy. If he is remembered more simply, it will be as one of the forgotten figures who served between two white-haired partisans, Thomas P. O'Neill Jr. of Massachusetts and Newt Gingrich of Georgia. Or he may be poignantly remembered as the forlorn man who was toppled from the giddiest heights of American politics . . . over a book.

Not unreadable, but not nearly as unified or memorable as:

History has a capricious memory, and it's anyone's guess how it will remember James C. Wright Jr. of Texas. Perhaps grandly, as the House Speaker who most aggressively muscled his way into foreign policy. Perhaps simply, as one of the forgotten figures who served between two white-haired partisans, Thomas P. O'Neill Jr. of Massachusetts and Newt Gingrich of Georgia. Or perhaps poignantly, as the forlorn man who was toppled from the giddiest heights of American politics . . . over a book.

Here, repetition binds the three supporting sentences tightly, showing that each is a possibility. The repeated opening is especially effective for supporting sentences that could be arranged in (almost) any order, as with grandly, simply, and poignantly, though poignantly is the obvious finish.

Two more examples:

Crash. Stockmarket bulls can act as brave as they like but they cannot deny the terror that this simple word strikes in their breasts. They may reassure themselves with talk of record profits or the death of inflation. They may point out all the ways in which Wall Street's bull run is not like others which ended in tears. But they cannot deny the stark reality: stockmarkets are notoriously fickle and can turn against you at a moment's notice.

This book has three elements: a description of the terrible present state and future prospects of the American Economy, a theory of the causes of the dreadful condition, and a prescription for rescuing us. The description of our condition is grossly exaggerated. The theory of the causes of the alleged condition is inadequately supported. The prescription is, with some exceptions, unpersuasive.

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