ClearTips: Powerful paragraphs

Conclude with the point after listing disparate details

Another way to conclude with the point is to list disparate details and bring them together with a point at the end. The short bursts pile up somewhat mysteriously until the point, even the subject, is revealed at the end.

Black helicopters hover menacingly over Michigan; trains loaded with white UN trucks trundle across Oregon. Sinister? You bet: the onset of world government, no less. Or rather a sample of the nonsense that lands daily on a congressman's desk. After a bit, the congressman pays attention. He knows that the helicopters were American, flying low-level training missions; that the trucks were Canadian, destined for a UN mission; that the people who propagate this sort of stuff are nuts. But behind the tall stories is something serious: the intense mistrust that some Americans feel for almost anything the UN does.

You can see America wilting in downtown Silver Spring. Old office blocks stand empty. A grand art deco cinema is frequented only by ghosts. Glitzy department stores have decamped to out-of-town shopping malls. Tattoo parlours, pawnbrokers, discounters remain. This decay, multiplied a thousand times in towns across America, is especially painful in a country built on the idea of progress. Lacking a common history, ethnicity, or even language, Americans are held together by a singular optimism: by the American dream.

Too colorful for some pieces, obviously inappropriate for others, this pattern can puzzle your readers, so be sure the details are vivid enough to intrigue them. If readers don't make it to the end of the paragraph, they will not get to your point.

Writing this kind of paragraph can take practice. If you have a series of powerful, descriptive details, try stringing them together. If you like the results but the effect is dubious, you might want to make the point at the beginning (see "Lead with the point and list disparate details").

The other thing to consider is your subject. This structure often works well for controversial points because as the details unfold, your readers become curious and follow along in the deduction.

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